Morning Thoughts

When we got to know each other it was almost 10 years ago. 10 years! I can clearly remember every single word you told me that night.
Once a month I would like to talk to you, I would like to give you a call and talk about the books you bought, the records you listened to, the stories you invented, the changes you made to your house. I am even concerned if your dogs are doing good. You know I always liked them so much.
But then I start thinking it´s maybe too much calling you and then I always start writing you a letter that I´ll never send. I´m too scared to break your balance, especially now it seems to me you found one and I definitely dont want to be the one that screw up everything.

It hasnt been easy between us, you arent an easy one, my dear, and so am I. We should have understood it right from the beginning, when I gave you a cd where somebody was singing that "you´re the truth, not I" and you gave me one where somebody was singing that "there is a light that never goes out".
You are the one with hope, I should have get it right from the beginning.
You loved me unconditionally but you also so much, that looking back now I dont know how I made it through everything. Probably because I know you didnt hurt me on purpose, it was just your way to protect me. You always had weird ways to protect people around you and you still have. After so many years you´re still protecting me and now it´s my turn to protect you.
I am guessing that it´s not easy for her to understand and accept certain things and she is probably feeling better when I am as far as I am right now. I totally understand that. She´s right. She is probably not the most beautiful girl in the world, but she definitely smart, nice and, more important, she loves you. I like her and I dont want to do her any harm.
If I would get in contact with you, instead of writing to you here, could do you harm, I know that, and I could do her harm too. So I get to the conclusion that I can just avoid writing/calling you, if this is better for so many people. Except for me, but I can ask my friends about you and knowing you´re doing good it´s more than enough for me.

We both have something that will remind of each other as time goes by.