Last night I dreamt I ws with Mark Lanegan, we were talking and he was smiling to me.
I mean, Mark Lanegan smiling it's a pretty big deal.
Just another mark in my life.
mercoledì 31 dicembre 2008
martedì 30 dicembre 2008
Against divorce.
No, I am not talking from a christian-catholic point of view, but from the American gays one. There are more than 18.000 legally married gay couples in USA. And now they want to say that gay marriage is NOT legal. This is crazy.
Click here to see how beautiful their love is.
Click here to see how beautiful their love is.
giovedì 18 dicembre 2008
New York, immigration and Ellis Island
When I went to New York, some years ago, I stayed at some friends of my grannie´s place.
They were both in their 80ies. Helene was born in New York from a family of Italian immigrants. She grew up in the Bronx, and then she married the son of other Italian immigrants. She couldnt speak Italian.
Albert was born in Italy, in a small village in Campania. He went to New York, by boat (!) when he was around 17. He told me that when he arrived he had to stop for a while at Ellis Island and he told me a lot of stories about those who gathered there. He could speak Italian, the problem was that I couldnt understand the weird southern Italy dialect he was speaking.
Today I saw these pics. It is a great way to remember that we have been immigrants, we still are immigrants and, as we are always talking about respect, we should first of all have respect for all the foreign people living in Italy, if we want then to be respected abroad.
They were both in their 80ies. Helene was born in New York from a family of Italian immigrants. She grew up in the Bronx, and then she married the son of other Italian immigrants. She couldnt speak Italian.
Albert was born in Italy, in a small village in Campania. He went to New York, by boat (!) when he was around 17. He told me that when he arrived he had to stop for a while at Ellis Island and he told me a lot of stories about those who gathered there. He could speak Italian, the problem was that I couldnt understand the weird southern Italy dialect he was speaking.
Today I saw these pics. It is a great way to remember that we have been immigrants, we still are immigrants and, as we are always talking about respect, we should first of all have respect for all the foreign people living in Italy, if we want then to be respected abroad.
lunedì 15 dicembre 2008
domenica 14 dicembre 2008
Someday This Pain WIll Be Usefull To You
No, I am not referring to my actual situation, I am just saying that you should read the above mentioned book.
Yes, it is indeed entitled "Someday This Pain Will Be Usefull To You". The Author is Peter Cameron. It is a great book. Trust me.
I definitely would like to advise it to somebody, though I dont know how....and maybe why? I dont think there is a reason to do something like that. I just would, if I could know how.
Whatever, here a quick resume and some reviews from the writer's webiste. Scrolling down the page you can also find a link where you can read te first chapter of the book online. Worth it.
Yes, it is indeed entitled "Someday This Pain Will Be Usefull To You". The Author is Peter Cameron. It is a great book. Trust me.
I definitely would like to advise it to somebody, though I dont know how....and maybe why? I dont think there is a reason to do something like that. I just would, if I could know how.
Whatever, here a quick resume and some reviews from the writer's webiste. Scrolling down the page you can also find a link where you can read te first chapter of the book online. Worth it.
Sunday
I woke up this morning, I looked myself in the mirror and I saw a pirate. already dressed in black, with my skull scarf on and my weird haircut and I thought I was looking like a pirate.
After 5 minutes I started to cry. Partly for this article I read and I am going to post as soon as I am finishing writing this, party because i is my brother's birthday today and I am not there and I am feeling kind of horrible because of that, even if I think that he should got used to it and I bet in the end he doesnt care at all. Then I started thinking about last Sunday, were I was at this time, and blah blah blah.
Since Sunday I am just having nightmares. The last I sleept good it was indeed Saturday night. I woke up on Sunday that I didn remember what I had dreamt, but who cares, it wasnt a nightmare and still, if it was, I couldnt remember.
I am going to prepare my breakfast and then I really dont know what to do. I think I should read, tonight I dreamt that my mum was buying me a book and this is actually the best part in all the dream, as the other was basically about running away from something, people who wanted to kill me and so on.
Constantly listening to The Gutter Twins. I think it is very hard I can go any more black that the way I am now.
After 5 minutes I started to cry. Partly for this article I read and I am going to post as soon as I am finishing writing this, party because i is my brother's birthday today and I am not there and I am feeling kind of horrible because of that, even if I think that he should got used to it and I bet in the end he doesnt care at all. Then I started thinking about last Sunday, were I was at this time, and blah blah blah.
Since Sunday I am just having nightmares. The last I sleept good it was indeed Saturday night. I woke up on Sunday that I didn remember what I had dreamt, but who cares, it wasnt a nightmare and still, if it was, I couldnt remember.
I am going to prepare my breakfast and then I really dont know what to do. I think I should read, tonight I dreamt that my mum was buying me a book and this is actually the best part in all the dream, as the other was basically about running away from something, people who wanted to kill me and so on.
Constantly listening to The Gutter Twins. I think it is very hard I can go any more black that the way I am now.
sabato 13 dicembre 2008
God's Children - The Gutter Twins
All God's Children
Take their passage into night
It's a feeling best you hold on tight
All God's Children
Hold yourself up to the Light
It's a free fall I know
Whispers captured lies
Come now, make your move
Do the clothes make the man?
Does the soul understand? I do
Strange the way you seem suicidal
You don't live at all so why you cryin?
Come and play with me and feel Desire
It's all in the Dark a walk thru the Fire
Baby Cast your eyes
To the soul you never knew
And maybe you got no place to hide
So you turn in two like I do
Strange the way you seem- Suicidal
You don't live at all so why you cryin?
Come and play with me and feel Desire
It's all in the Dark a walk thru the Fire
Take their passage into night
It's a feeling best you hold on tight
All God's Children
Hold yourself up to the Light
It's a free fall I know
Whispers captured lies
Come now, make your move
Do the clothes make the man?
Does the soul understand? I do
Strange the way you seem suicidal
You don't live at all so why you cryin?
Come and play with me and feel Desire
It's all in the Dark a walk thru the Fire
Baby Cast your eyes
To the soul you never knew
And maybe you got no place to hide
So you turn in two like I do
Strange the way you seem- Suicidal
You don't live at all so why you cryin?
Come and play with me and feel Desire
It's all in the Dark a walk thru the Fire
giovedì 11 dicembre 2008
As it is always great to know that you ´re coming from a place where once something is said, it is also automatically denied.
Read this article.
Read this article.
50 Top Albums of the Year, according to Rolling Stone
I personally dont like Rolling Stone that much. But I partly agree with the list of the 50 top album of 2008 the music mag compiled.
The Tv on the Radio album rocks, the Fleet Foxes ones too, and so does Nick Cave (probably my album of the year). Other very good albums are in my opinion: Erykah Badu, Kings Of Leon, Kaiser Chiefs, MGMT (it´s not that good, but it´s funny!), Ra Ra Riots, Of Montreal, Hot Chip.
I really dont know why on this list there are mentioned: Metallica, Guns´n´Roses, The Jonas Brothers.
I think other very good album of the year are: Portugal. The Man (wow, they are really, really good), Sahara Hotnights, The Bishops and, of course, my loved Einstürzende Neubauten....
The Tv on the Radio album rocks, the Fleet Foxes ones too, and so does Nick Cave (probably my album of the year). Other very good albums are in my opinion: Erykah Badu, Kings Of Leon, Kaiser Chiefs, MGMT (it´s not that good, but it´s funny!), Ra Ra Riots, Of Montreal, Hot Chip.
I really dont know why on this list there are mentioned: Metallica, Guns´n´Roses, The Jonas Brothers.
I think other very good album of the year are: Portugal. The Man (wow, they are really, really good), Sahara Hotnights, The Bishops and, of course, my loved Einstürzende Neubauten....
mercoledì 10 dicembre 2008
Interview to Mark Arm
I found this a nice interview. Apart from the fact that I think Mark is one of my all the time favourite musician.
I was so lucky to meet him once, I had a backstage pass thanks to me being cynical as usual.
Yes, I had a backstage pass just because I said a very cynic joke. And the roadie thought I deserved the pass.
Whatever, in case anyone is interested, Mark´s real surname is McLaughlin, by the way.
I was so lucky to meet him once, I had a backstage pass thanks to me being cynical as usual.
Yes, I had a backstage pass just because I said a very cynic joke. And the roadie thought I deserved the pass.
Whatever, in case anyone is interested, Mark´s real surname is McLaughlin, by the way.
martedì 9 dicembre 2008
Today I didnt go to work. I simply didnt feel like. As if anybody cared. I stayed in bed till late, took a bath, a friend came over for breakfast. We ended up siting on the sofa buying furs on Ebay.
I have been riding my bike most of the afternoon. I needed to do something that looked kind of sporty a good friend of mine told me and this is the only thing I am really enjoying.
I mean, I told him that I needed to ride my horse, but I think it is kind of difficult to find a place where I can ride a horse here in Berlin. At least so fast. Not to talk about that i dont have my equipment.
To male the story short I ride my bike, tried to think as little as I could. This didnt work that much but at least I did something for myself.
I went food shopping at the Turkish market near to my flat. I dont have many occasions to go there and I like to go there. People are constantly screaming in a language that dont understand and it's funny. I ended up buying food that will probably rotten in my fridge, as usual. I bought peppermint, sure that as soon as I was home I could have made me a peppermint tea, but of course I didnt.
I have smoked I dont even know how many cigarettes and I am feeling kind of disgusted at the moment.
Now I am going to take a bath, candle lights, the book I am reading now ("The Turning", by Tim Winton,one of the main charachters has the same nickname that my sister gave to me. The book is basically talking about how people can look at their past in their present and reconsider everything they did while looking back). Nothing more. Dont want to think, dont want to think, dont want to think. I simply dont want to think.
At all.
I have ended up listening to Mother Love Bone. It has been ages I didnt. And now I remember why. That band could easily open all my darkest emotion. And this is something I definitely dont need right now.
I simply dont want to think.
At all.
I have been riding my bike most of the afternoon. I needed to do something that looked kind of sporty a good friend of mine told me and this is the only thing I am really enjoying.
I mean, I told him that I needed to ride my horse, but I think it is kind of difficult to find a place where I can ride a horse here in Berlin. At least so fast. Not to talk about that i dont have my equipment.
To male the story short I ride my bike, tried to think as little as I could. This didnt work that much but at least I did something for myself.
I went food shopping at the Turkish market near to my flat. I dont have many occasions to go there and I like to go there. People are constantly screaming in a language that dont understand and it's funny. I ended up buying food that will probably rotten in my fridge, as usual. I bought peppermint, sure that as soon as I was home I could have made me a peppermint tea, but of course I didnt.
I have smoked I dont even know how many cigarettes and I am feeling kind of disgusted at the moment.
Now I am going to take a bath, candle lights, the book I am reading now ("The Turning", by Tim Winton,one of the main charachters has the same nickname that my sister gave to me. The book is basically talking about how people can look at their past in their present and reconsider everything they did while looking back). Nothing more. Dont want to think, dont want to think, dont want to think. I simply dont want to think.
At all.
I have ended up listening to Mother Love Bone. It has been ages I didnt. And now I remember why. That band could easily open all my darkest emotion. And this is something I definitely dont need right now.
I simply dont want to think.
At all.
lunedì 8 dicembre 2008
Chloe Dancer by Mother Love Bone
Chloe don't know better
Chloe just like me, only beautiful
A couple of years of difference
But those lessons never learned
Chloe danced the tables in the french quarter
Always been given so I can't always make her laugh
But I'm proud to say
And I won't forget
Time spent laying by her side
Time spent laying by her side
And dreams like this must die
Chloe just like me, only beautiful
A couple of years of difference
But those lessons never learned
Chloe danced the tables in the french quarter
Always been given so I can't always make her laugh
But I'm proud to say
And I won't forget
Time spent laying by her side
Time spent laying by her side
And dreams like this must die
sabato 8 novembre 2008
martedì 4 novembre 2008
sabato 1 novembre 2008
November 1.1 (or better said, 1.11)
It was a beautiful autumn fall day today. Not particularly cold, the sun was shining and a gentle, but chilly, breeze was blowing.
Woke up early this morning, did nothing until 2 o clock apart from laughing and taking crap. I was in a very good mood today. I went out, took my bike and went food shopping. I bought some great stuff, which will probably will rotten on the fridge as usual, but at least I have something to eat in case I get hungry (which is likely, since I hadnt a proper meal since Thrusday night).
I called my dad, he was home, chilling out in the sofa, we had a nice chat.
I biked back home and I understood, once more, how much I love this city and how beautiful it is.
This is exactly the place where I wasnt to be. I never felt this happy since long and it feels very good. I biked through the park and there was a band jamming. They were playing very good and I stopped by for some minutes listening to them. The audience was funny: father and mothers with their children, old people, rastamen, people passing by.
Now I a at home, it five in the afternoon and already dark in Berlin. I am watching some artists re-doing the murals in the building in front of the flat. I definitely liked more the one before. Now in the characters drawn there arent yes no more, they are drawing kind of glasses/sunglasses, which are not making much sense, I think. I'll post a picture as soon as they will finish it.
Now I think I'll read for a while and maybe later I'll begin writing my thesis.
The future is mine, or at least I am happy to think so.
Woke up early this morning, did nothing until 2 o clock apart from laughing and taking crap. I was in a very good mood today. I went out, took my bike and went food shopping. I bought some great stuff, which will probably will rotten on the fridge as usual, but at least I have something to eat in case I get hungry (which is likely, since I hadnt a proper meal since Thrusday night).
I called my dad, he was home, chilling out in the sofa, we had a nice chat.
I biked back home and I understood, once more, how much I love this city and how beautiful it is.
This is exactly the place where I wasnt to be. I never felt this happy since long and it feels very good. I biked through the park and there was a band jamming. They were playing very good and I stopped by for some minutes listening to them. The audience was funny: father and mothers with their children, old people, rastamen, people passing by.
Now I a at home, it five in the afternoon and already dark in Berlin. I am watching some artists re-doing the murals in the building in front of the flat. I definitely liked more the one before. Now in the characters drawn there arent yes no more, they are drawing kind of glasses/sunglasses, which are not making much sense, I think. I'll post a picture as soon as they will finish it.
Now I think I'll read for a while and maybe later I'll begin writing my thesis.
The future is mine, or at least I am happy to think so.
mercoledì 29 ottobre 2008
This is Italy.... Again.
The director of the Museum were this piece of art have been exposed, has been fired, just because she decided to show this piece in the Museum. The Pope too spoke against it, and there you go: no crucified frog in the Museum anymore and no director anymore.
Isnt it written in the Italian Costitution that Italy is a lay nation? Shouldnt the Pope not intervene with something that is NOT concerning religion??
Well, this is Italy. AGAIN.
New Barbie "The Birds"
A nice omage to the great film director from Mattel. Funny, dont you think?
Well, it is defiitely a "must have" in my new flat.
giovedì 16 ottobre 2008
Answers to Saviano from Napolitano - President of Italy - and Berlusconi (NO, he´s NOT the Italian President)
For those who cant understand Italian, it is pretty clear that Napolitano, President of the Italian Republic is expressing his solidarity to Roberto Saviano and he´s also saying that the threats against Saviano are threats against the Italian culture and against civil society in Italy. He´s not actually saying anything against Saviano leaving Italy, I assume that he think it´s a good idea.
What Berlusconi is saying is that the Italian government should grant to Saviano the right not to have fear. What the hell is that suppose to mean?
He is adding that the Italian government should grant the absolute incolumity of Saviano. Berlusconi is saying clearly that Saviano shouldnt leave Italy. Maybe because he´s one of the camorre people who would like to see Saviano dead???
GIORGIO NAPOLITANO. Caro direttore, le minacce a Roberto Saviano, da parte del più feroce clan camorristico, sono una sfida non solo alla cultura ma alla coscienza civile del paese. Lo Stato deve fare la sua parte come garante della sicurezza e della legalità. Ma tutti devono comprendere che sono in giuoco valori basilari di libertà e di dignità nazionale, che è in giuoco il prestigio dell'Italia democratica in Europa. Roberto Saviano è stato costretto a una vita dura, a una vita assurda: bisogna fargli sentire che non è solo.
SILVIO BERLUSCONI. Egregio direttore, vorrei rincuorare Roberto Saviano e dirgli di tenere duro, di non cedere alle minacce della camorra. Abbiamo ripulito Napoli e la Campania dai rifiuti; intendiamo agire con la stessa determinazione per liberare l'intero Mezzogiorno dalla camorra e dalla criminalità organizzata. Ai giovani talenti come Saviano dobbiamo tutti una civile gratitudine: ma il Governo gli deve qualcosa di più. Deve garantirgli il diritto a non avere paura, la tutela più completa della sua incolumità. E su questo prendiamo assoluto impegno.
What Berlusconi is saying is that the Italian government should grant to Saviano the right not to have fear. What the hell is that suppose to mean?
He is adding that the Italian government should grant the absolute incolumity of Saviano. Berlusconi is saying clearly that Saviano shouldnt leave Italy. Maybe because he´s one of the camorre people who would like to see Saviano dead???
GIORGIO NAPOLITANO. Caro direttore, le minacce a Roberto Saviano, da parte del più feroce clan camorristico, sono una sfida non solo alla cultura ma alla coscienza civile del paese. Lo Stato deve fare la sua parte come garante della sicurezza e della legalità. Ma tutti devono comprendere che sono in giuoco valori basilari di libertà e di dignità nazionale, che è in giuoco il prestigio dell'Italia democratica in Europa. Roberto Saviano è stato costretto a una vita dura, a una vita assurda: bisogna fargli sentire che non è solo.
SILVIO BERLUSCONI. Egregio direttore, vorrei rincuorare Roberto Saviano e dirgli di tenere duro, di non cedere alle minacce della camorra. Abbiamo ripulito Napoli e la Campania dai rifiuti; intendiamo agire con la stessa determinazione per liberare l'intero Mezzogiorno dalla camorra e dalla criminalità organizzata. Ai giovani talenti come Saviano dobbiamo tutti una civile gratitudine: ma il Governo gli deve qualcosa di più. Deve garantirgli il diritto a non avere paura, la tutela più completa della sua incolumità. E su questo prendiamo assoluto impegno.
Roberto Saviano leaving Italy after death threat.
ROME - The author of the best-selling book "Gomorra" about the mafia in Naples, which has been made into a hit movie, wants to leave Italy to try to have a more normal life after reports that the mob wants him dead by Christmas.
After reports that the "Camorra", as the Naples mafia is known, has added urgency in its threat to kill Roberto Saviano, the 29-year-old who has been in hiding for two years said he was tired of being a "prisoner" of his book's success.
"I'm going away from Italy, at least for a while, then I'll see," he told La Repubblica newspaper.
"Right now I don't see why I should keep living like this, as a prisoner of myself, my book, my success. Fuck success. I want a life, that's all," said Saviano.
"I want to take a walk, get some sun, walk in the rain, meet my mother without scaring her and being afraid."
First published in 2006, the gritty chronicle of how the Camorra dominates life around Naples and makes its money -- by a local boy who saw his first murder victim at 13 -- has sold 1.2 million copies in Italy and been translated into 42 languages.
Saviano worked in a textile and building firm controlled by the mob to research his book, which narrates the Camorràs involvement in protection rackets, drug trafficking, smuggling and even illegal waste disposal.
Saviano worked in a textile and building firm controlled by the mob to research his book, which narrates the Camorràs involvement in protection rackets, drug trafficking, smuggling and even illegal waste disposal.
Now "Gomorra" has hit the big screen and is a candidate for the Oscars, the mafia is said to be even angrier and wants Saviano killed by the end of the year.
Naples police said they were checking the veracity of the reports and politicians from President Giorgio Napolitano down commented on the need to safeguard Saviano's life.
Separated from friends and family and moved from one police barracks to another to avoid attempts on his life, the writer asked: "What is my crime? Why must I live like a recluse, a leper, hidden away from life, the world and other men?" "I only wanted to tell the story of my people, my land and their humiliation," he said, raging against the head of the notorious Casalesi clan of the Camorra, Francesco Schiavone (nicknamed "Sandokan" after a fictional pirate), who is currently serving a life jail sentence.
A police informer said it was Schiavone's Casalesi clan, which is based in Casal di Principe near Naples where Saviano grew up, who wanted the writer murdered as soon as possible.
Saviano gave no clue as to where he would try to rebuild his life, for obvious reasons, saying only that when first obliged to go into hiding in 2006 he rejected advice to leave for New York: "I stayed here, but how long can I carry this cross?".
After reports that the "Camorra", as the Naples mafia is known, has added urgency in its threat to kill Roberto Saviano, the 29-year-old who has been in hiding for two years said he was tired of being a "prisoner" of his book's success.
"I'm going away from Italy, at least for a while, then I'll see," he told La Repubblica newspaper.
"Right now I don't see why I should keep living like this, as a prisoner of myself, my book, my success. Fuck success. I want a life, that's all," said Saviano.
"I want to take a walk, get some sun, walk in the rain, meet my mother without scaring her and being afraid."
First published in 2006, the gritty chronicle of how the Camorra dominates life around Naples and makes its money -- by a local boy who saw his first murder victim at 13 -- has sold 1.2 million copies in Italy and been translated into 42 languages.
Saviano worked in a textile and building firm controlled by the mob to research his book, which narrates the Camorràs involvement in protection rackets, drug trafficking, smuggling and even illegal waste disposal.
Saviano worked in a textile and building firm controlled by the mob to research his book, which narrates the Camorràs involvement in protection rackets, drug trafficking, smuggling and even illegal waste disposal.
Now "Gomorra" has hit the big screen and is a candidate for the Oscars, the mafia is said to be even angrier and wants Saviano killed by the end of the year.
Naples police said they were checking the veracity of the reports and politicians from President Giorgio Napolitano down commented on the need to safeguard Saviano's life.
Separated from friends and family and moved from one police barracks to another to avoid attempts on his life, the writer asked: "What is my crime? Why must I live like a recluse, a leper, hidden away from life, the world and other men?" "I only wanted to tell the story of my people, my land and their humiliation," he said, raging against the head of the notorious Casalesi clan of the Camorra, Francesco Schiavone (nicknamed "Sandokan" after a fictional pirate), who is currently serving a life jail sentence.
A police informer said it was Schiavone's Casalesi clan, which is based in Casal di Principe near Naples where Saviano grew up, who wanted the writer murdered as soon as possible.
Saviano gave no clue as to where he would try to rebuild his life, for obvious reasons, saying only that when first obliged to go into hiding in 2006 he rejected advice to leave for New York: "I stayed here, but how long can I carry this cross?".
sabato 11 ottobre 2008
lunedì 6 ottobre 2008
mercoledì 1 ottobre 2008
Italy part 1
it's been a while since the last time I was able to post something. My laptop has something wrong and wont connect wireless here, cant understand why. It seems that as soon as I am living Berlin it starts refusing working properly. Probably it's just time to buy a new one, but dont have enough money to do that right now and I am about to spend a lot of money as I am moving out from the flat I am actually leaving in.
Had a nice Saturday with my sister and my brother. We went around in my hometown drinking all together, then eating in a nice restaurant and then drinking again! My brother and me we drove home at 2, our mum was waiting for us awake, as, as usual, I didnt tell her that I wasnt actually coming home for dinner...she was kind of pissed and she was definitely right.
Sunday I stayed home, my grandparents came for lunch, it was their 60th wedding anniversary.
Monday and Tuesday I was in Siena, I passed both my exams and I am quite satifisfied of that.
I saw my friends, it was very nice since that long time. I went to the bookshop and bought some books I'll definitely enjoy while back in Berlin.
I had booked a room in the heart ofthe city, my room was up in the topfloor and I had a great view from the balcony. I'll post the pictures I have taken from there.
Sunday I'll leave from Florence and I'll be back in Berlin in the early afternoon. Glad of that. It always feels good to be back in the most beautiful city in the world.
Peace.
Had a nice Saturday with my sister and my brother. We went around in my hometown drinking all together, then eating in a nice restaurant and then drinking again! My brother and me we drove home at 2, our mum was waiting for us awake, as, as usual, I didnt tell her that I wasnt actually coming home for dinner...she was kind of pissed and she was definitely right.
Sunday I stayed home, my grandparents came for lunch, it was their 60th wedding anniversary.
Monday and Tuesday I was in Siena, I passed both my exams and I am quite satifisfied of that.
I saw my friends, it was very nice since that long time. I went to the bookshop and bought some books I'll definitely enjoy while back in Berlin.
I had booked a room in the heart ofthe city, my room was up in the topfloor and I had a great view from the balcony. I'll post the pictures I have taken from there.
Sunday I'll leave from Florence and I'll be back in Berlin in the early afternoon. Glad of that. It always feels good to be back in the most beautiful city in the world.
Peace.
giovedì 25 settembre 2008
Leaving soon....trip almost planned.
I´ll be away for 8 days from Saturday on. I dont know how long ago was the last time I have left Berlin for more than 4-5 days.
I have my flight ticket to Rimini, I´ll be landing in the afternoon and my sister will be waiting for me. It´s more than a year ago since last time she came and pick me up at the airport, so it will be very, very nice. At least I wont struggle with trains, buses and so on.
On Monday and Tuesday I´ll be in Siena. I have booked my hotel, in the very centre of the city. I´ll write some emails, maybe on Monday night I can have dinner with some friends, though I am not very sure I am very in the mood to see the people I have left there.
My sister will come and pick me up on Tuesday. Then I´ll be at my parents place - or at my sister´s one, depending on how long will I stand staying at my parents - until Saturday or even Sunday.
I´ll relax, I´ll eat a lot, I´ll go shopping.
But I really dont want to see anybody else than my family and my grandparents. But I guess I´ll be forced to leave my parents house and go somewhere. Or maybe I could try to look as bad as possible, so my mum wont ever allow me to leave the house....mmmmmmmmmmh I should think about that, maybe it´s not that bad idea....
I have my flight ticket to Rimini, I´ll be landing in the afternoon and my sister will be waiting for me. It´s more than a year ago since last time she came and pick me up at the airport, so it will be very, very nice. At least I wont struggle with trains, buses and so on.
On Monday and Tuesday I´ll be in Siena. I have booked my hotel, in the very centre of the city. I´ll write some emails, maybe on Monday night I can have dinner with some friends, though I am not very sure I am very in the mood to see the people I have left there.
My sister will come and pick me up on Tuesday. Then I´ll be at my parents place - or at my sister´s one, depending on how long will I stand staying at my parents - until Saturday or even Sunday.
I´ll relax, I´ll eat a lot, I´ll go shopping.
But I really dont want to see anybody else than my family and my grandparents. But I guess I´ll be forced to leave my parents house and go somewhere. Or maybe I could try to look as bad as possible, so my mum wont ever allow me to leave the house....mmmmmmmmmmh I should think about that, maybe it´s not that bad idea....
lunedì 22 settembre 2008
domenica 21 settembre 2008
Popup Illegal Art Happening
Have a look at what is happening in Ancona: Popup Illegal Art Happening
Many artists involved such as Raymond Pettibon, Ozmo, Blue, Paperesistance and many others.
Many artists involved such as Raymond Pettibon, Ozmo, Blue, Paperesistance and many others.
giovedì 18 settembre 2008
Sarah Palin´s email account has been hacked
Click here you if want to read her emails.
She was using her private email for governative matters. So, if she was so dumb not to protect her email at all, how will she behave when she will have infos about the security of the United States Of America?
She was using her private email for governative matters. So, if she was so dumb not to protect her email at all, how will she behave when she will have infos about the security of the United States Of America?
mercoledì 17 settembre 2008
The 25 best Grunge Records
Here's a list of the 25 best grunge records. Note that the list is random and the number next to the record does NOT correspond to the importance of the record.So, here we go:
- Soundagarden "Ultramega OK"
- Green River "Rehab Doll"
- Mudhoney (here above pictured) "Superfuzz Bigmuff"
- Tad "God's Balls"
- Nirvana "Bleach"
- Mother Love Bone "Apple"
- Temple Of The Dog "Temple Of The Dog"
- Seaweed "Despised"
- Pearl Jam "Ten"
- Mind Funk "Mind Funk"
- The Afghan Whigs "Congregation"
- Love Battery "Dayglo"
- L7 "Bricks Are Heavy"
- V.A. "Singles OST"
- Gruntruck "Push"
- Nirvana "Nevermind"
- Stone Temple Pilots "Core"
- Screaming TRees "Sweet Oblivion"
- Alice In Chains "Dirt"
- Hammerbox "Dirt"
- Shashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream"
- Melvins "Houdini"
- Pearl Jam "Vs."
- Soundgarden "Superunknown"
- Mad Season "Above"
martedì 16 settembre 2008
Palast der Republik
This is, or better this was, the Parliament in the formal East Berlin. Despite strong resentments, in November 2003 the German parliament decided to demolish the building and leave the area as a parkland until funding for the reconstruction of the Berlin City Palace could be found. A parkland??? As if in Berlin there is this huge need of parkland!!! And they spent a lot of money for the deconstruction of the bulding and now they dont have any to re-build anything? Well, that doesnt surprise me, Berlin s not a very rich city, but so what's the point of deconstruct such a big palace if you have no money.
Demolition started on February 6, 2006 and was scheduled to last about
15 months and to cost 12 millions euro. The Palast der Republik is actually still under deconstruction and this is how the Palast looks like now.
About 35,000 tonnes of steel that once held this bulding together are now being shipped to United Arab Emirates to be used on the construction of the Burj Dubai.If you want to know more about the story of the Palast der Republik or if you more simply are interested in seeing how beautiful Berlin is, you can watch this video .
lunedì 15 settembre 2008
The best 111 Guitar Moments (according to musikexpress - August 2008)
- John Lee Hooker " Boogie Chillen"
- Johnny Cash "I Walk The Line"
- Bo Diddley "Hey Bo Diddley"
- Link Wray "Rumble"
- Chuck Berry "Johnny B. Goode"
- Booker T. & The MG´s "Green Onions"
- Dick Dale & His Del-Tones "Misirlou"
- The Kinks "You Really Got Me"
- The Who "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere"
- The Beatles "And The Bird Can Sing"
- The Byrds "Eight Miles High"
- The Jimi Hendrix Experience "Drivin´ South"
- The Velvet Underground "I´m Waiting For The Man"
- Pink Floyd "Astronomy Domine"
- Jimi Hendrix "Purple Haze"
- The Velvet Underground "Sister Ray"
- The Rolling Stones "Sympathy For The Devil"
- Creedence Clearwater Revival "Walk On The Water"
- Love "Alone Again Or"
- Cream "Crossroads"
- The Beatles "Helter Skelter"
- Jeff Beck "Beck´s Bolero"
- The Rolling Stones "Monkey Man"
- Jimi Hendrix "The Star Spangled Banner"
- The Stooges "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
- Grateful Dead "Dark Star"
- Blind Faith "Presence Of The Lord"
- Can "You Doo Right"
- James Brown "Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine"
- Black Sabbath "Black Sabbath"
- Deep Purple "Fireball"
- Led Zeppelin "Stairway To Heaven"
- Deep Purple "Smoke On The Water"
- Steely Dan "Reelin´IN The Years"
- Carlos Santana "Song Of The Wind"
- Iggy And The Stooges "Search And Destroy"
- T.Rex "20th Century Boy"
- ZZ Top "La Grange"
- Brian Eno "Baby´s On Fire"
- Neil Young "On The Beach"
- Queen "Killer Queen"
- Van Der Graaf Generator "Meurgleys III"
- Eagles "Hotel California"
- Ramones "BlitzkriegBop"
- Television "Marquee Man"
- Queen "We Will Rock You"
- Sex Pistols "Holidays In The Sun"
- David Bowie "Heroes"
- Pink Floyd "Sheep"
- Dire Straits "Sultan Of Swing"
- Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb"
- The Clash "London Calling"
- The Cure "Killing An Arab"
- The Dixie Dregs "The Bash"
- AC/DC "Highway To Hell"
- Gange Of Four "Damaged Goods"
- Frank Zappa "Yo´Mama"
- Joy Division "Atrocity Exhibition"
- Bob Marley & The Wailers "Could You Be Loved"
- Grauzone "Eisbär"
- Paul Simon "Allergies"
- The Smiths "This Charming Man"
- Van Halen "Jump"
- Prince & The Revolution "Purple Rain"
- Metallica "Masters Of Puppets"
- The Smiths "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
- Dinosaur Jr. "Little Fury Things"
- Metallica "One"
- U2 "Where The Streets Have No Name"
- Sonic Youth "Cross The Breeze"
- Pixies "Vamos"
- The Stone Roses "I Am The Resurrection"
- Steve Vai "Blue Powder"
- Steve Ray Vaughan "Little Wing"
- Talk Talk "Myrrhman"
- My Bloody Valentine "To Here Knows When"
- Neil Young "Like A Hurricane"
- Nirvana "Smells LIke Teen Spirit"
- Red Hot Chili Peppers "Under The Bridge"
- Megadeth "Symphony Of Destruction"
- Rage Against The Machine "Know Your Enemy"
- Nirvana "Frances Farmer WIll Have Never Revenge On Seattle"
- Beck "Loser"
- Radiohead "Creep"
- Smashing Pumpkins "Soma"
- G.Love And Special Sauce "Shooting Hoops"
- Blumfeld "Verstärker"
- Weezer "Undone (The Sweater Song)"
- Pavement "Grounded"
- Oasis "Champagne Supernova"
- Pulp "Disco 2000"
- Mike Watt Feat. J. Mascis "Maggot Brain"
- Built To Spill "Stop The Show"
- Radiohead "Paranoid Android"
- Blur "Song 2"
- The Jesus And Mary Chain "I Hate Rock´n´Roll"
- Nine Inch Nails "The Fragile"
- At The Drive-In "One Arm Scissor"
- System Of A Down "Toxicity"
- The Strokes "Last Night"
- The LIbertines "Tell The King"
- Queens Of The Stone Age "No One Knows"
- White Stripes "Seven Nation Army"
- Wilco "At Least That´s What You Said"
- Franz Ferdinand "Take Me Out"
- Babyshambles "Fuck Forever"
- Maximo Park "Graffiti"
- Mastodon "Cycle Of Cysquatch"
- Muse "Assassin"
- Wilco "Impossible Germany"
- Mars Volta "Goliath"
What do you think? I dont agree with many of the entries. For example: why are Babyshambles in here? Why just one Who song? Pete Townsend is probably one of the best guitar player alive!
And why not any Mudhoney track? And what about "Alive" by Pearl Jam? That is one of the most
venerdì 12 settembre 2008
Mara Carfagna
This woman, age 33, is the one who changed the Italian law against prostituition. Seeing this picture somebody can think that maybe she is an expert on the subject. Well, in a way yes.
According to the law she just wrote, prostitutes and clients can get both arrested and they can spend in jail from 5 to 15 days. In addition a fee from € 200 to € 3000 is applied. Sell you own body in the streets it is a crime, but this funny law doesnt say anything about selling your own body in your own flat. The law is saying that the prostitution in private place (flats, hotels, and so on) is not legal but is not a crime neither.
What on earth is that supposed to mean?
In addition nobody thought about the fact that not longer than 3 days ago everybody in the Italian Parliament was talking about the problem of the overpopulation of the Italian jails and they were arguing about how could they solve this matter.
This is a joke and it isnt even a funny one.
According to the law she just wrote she should be the first one to be in jail. Isnt she selling herself in the above picture? Isnt she in Parliament just because she had/has a very tight and personal connection with the Prime Minister?
As a woman, I am sincerely offended. I really am. And when I am thinking that she is the Minister of Equal Opportunity, well, I am even more offended.
giovedì 11 settembre 2008
This morning thoughts...
This morning I woke up at 7 thinking that:
But really, I cant get rid of this thought.
Right now I am already thinking about my "Feierabend". I want to go buying some LPs in Prenzlauer Berg and then stop having a glass of wine.
That sounds like a great plan actually.
- It´s great waking up early in the morning and seeing the sun rising, the sky changing his color and the birds start singing
- I regret not having a balcony, otherwise I could have had my breakfast on the morning chill, as today and tomorrow will be the last "warm" day of the summer and from Saturday on the temperature in Berlin should decrease until 15 (!) in the day and 6 (!!!) in the night
- after reading the weather forecast I though that it is maybe time to replace my summer clothes with the winter ones
- now that I began writing my thesis I should get used to wake up much earlier in the morning, as I did when I was a student
- I still have to study a lot for my exams
- I should trsut any man who owns more shoes than I do
But really, I cant get rid of this thought.
Right now I am already thinking about my "Feierabend". I want to go buying some LPs in Prenzlauer Berg and then stop having a glass of wine.
That sounds like a great plan actually.
mercoledì 10 settembre 2008
Thursday
I woke up early this morning. I took a shower, I made myself a coffee and I have start working on my thesis... I love sleeping, but there is nothing like seeing a day rising, alone, in silence.
Still headache
This is really driving me crazy now. With a lot of other, different things, but this is driving me crazy.
martedì 9 settembre 2008
And it´s only getting worste
When I´m out with my friends he keeps on calling me every second minute. I called him now, as we normally talk before he´s going to work and, as he was out with his friends, he got pissed and asked me why I called him and he had that annoying voice.
I cant stand this anymore. I´m just trying to be as calm as I can, but it seems so difficult right now.
We have plans for a future together, but can we talk about "together" if we cant even talk properly?
I cant stand this anymore. I´m just trying to be as calm as I can, but it seems so difficult right now.
We have plans for a future together, but can we talk about "together" if we cant even talk properly?
And this should be a good day according to my horoscope...
I woke up I was still dreaming one of those kind of dreams so real, that when you wake up you cannot understand where you are and if what you dreamt actually happened or not.
It was one of those dreams you dont want to wake up from. It was one of those dreams you would like to remember but as soon as you try to remember, you already forgot.
It was the first dream - not a nightmare finally! - since ages. I dont even remember when was the last time I had a nice dream.
I had breakfast alone, as usual. Why my boyfriend should stay up to have breakfast with me after one year we are together? No point in doing that, especially when he knows I hate having breakfast alone. I drank my coffee alone and ate my jogurth alone, then I took a cup of coffee and brought it to him.
I had my bike on his backyard, so I took his keys, went downstairs, took the bike and came upstairs to bring him back his keys. My boyfriend lives in the 4th floor.
I took my bike, put my iPod on and went. After 10 minutes my back wheel was completely flat. The same wheel I have just repaired last week, exactly the one that I have bought brand new after somebody burnt my bike. I locked my bike - once I used to call it "Rocket", now I think I can just call it "Little Skeleton"- to a fence near the S-Bahn stop (and lucky me I was near the S-Bahn) and I came to work.
It´s more than one hour and I sitting here at my desk doing personal stuff - skyping with my sister, reading the newspaper, reading gossips, updating my facebook - and I dont want to waste 8 hours of my precious time that way. I´ll probably leave earlier, in order to fix my bike and do some other important stuff - like studying, for instance, or pick up my shoes.
Now first coffee and cigarette of the day. It can only improve, I suppose.
It was one of those dreams you dont want to wake up from. It was one of those dreams you would like to remember but as soon as you try to remember, you already forgot.
It was the first dream - not a nightmare finally! - since ages. I dont even remember when was the last time I had a nice dream.
I had breakfast alone, as usual. Why my boyfriend should stay up to have breakfast with me after one year we are together? No point in doing that, especially when he knows I hate having breakfast alone. I drank my coffee alone and ate my jogurth alone, then I took a cup of coffee and brought it to him.
I had my bike on his backyard, so I took his keys, went downstairs, took the bike and came upstairs to bring him back his keys. My boyfriend lives in the 4th floor.
I took my bike, put my iPod on and went. After 10 minutes my back wheel was completely flat. The same wheel I have just repaired last week, exactly the one that I have bought brand new after somebody burnt my bike. I locked my bike - once I used to call it "Rocket", now I think I can just call it "Little Skeleton"- to a fence near the S-Bahn stop (and lucky me I was near the S-Bahn) and I came to work.
It´s more than one hour and I sitting here at my desk doing personal stuff - skyping with my sister, reading the newspaper, reading gossips, updating my facebook - and I dont want to waste 8 hours of my precious time that way. I´ll probably leave earlier, in order to fix my bike and do some other important stuff - like studying, for instance, or pick up my shoes.
Now first coffee and cigarette of the day. It can only improve, I suppose.
lunedì 8 settembre 2008
Headache
Exactly one week with a continuous headache. Bad, bad, bad. I´ve started now to take at least one painkiller per day, in addition I´m taking two magnesium pills per day. It seems the magnesium is working better than the aspirin, but still the headache is there.
" es wuchs eines Tages mit kleinen Köpfen beiderseits aus meiner Haut
zu dritt dann morgens im Spiegel haben wir uns angeschaut
und habens nicht geglaubt – so unvertraut"
zu dritt dann morgens im Spiegel haben wir uns angeschaut
und habens nicht geglaubt – so unvertraut"
domenica 7 settembre 2008
Yoox
Funny funny funny. My boyfriend yesterday discovered Yoox. It is funny how men can become narcisistic and found of themselves sometimes. He had said all day that he needed a new pair of jeans, so when he came back to work I suggested to check if theyhad nice ones on Yoox.
"What's Yoox?" he asked me.
Then he understood and he quickly became kind of addicted to it. He got pissed out twice, once because I was looking at handbags for me (he even said "You all are just the same! When it comes to do your shopping you're 100% concentrated, but when it comes to help your man then you dont care!" I actualy found this very sweet), the second one because he thought I had forgotten what he wanted to buy, but, of course, I had already put it on my basket.
He finally bought a pair of nice jeans and a shirt.
This morning when he woke up one of the first things he asked me was: "When do you think my package will arrive?" "Not later than next Friday" I have told him. He seemed satisfied....
If you dont what Yoox is, click here
"What's Yoox?" he asked me.
Then he understood and he quickly became kind of addicted to it. He got pissed out twice, once because I was looking at handbags for me (he even said "You all are just the same! When it comes to do your shopping you're 100% concentrated, but when it comes to help your man then you dont care!" I actualy found this very sweet), the second one because he thought I had forgotten what he wanted to buy, but, of course, I had already put it on my basket.
He finally bought a pair of nice jeans and a shirt.
This morning when he woke up one of the first things he asked me was: "When do you think my package will arrive?" "Not later than next Friday" I have told him. He seemed satisfied....
If you dont what Yoox is, click here
giovedì 4 settembre 2008
Lately I can just listen to...
"Ende Neu" by Einstürzende Neubauten
I recommend listening to:
"Ende Neu"
"The Garden"
"Silence Is Sexy" by Einstürzende Neubauten
I recommend listening to:
"Silence is Sexy"
"Redutk"
"Alles Wieder Offen" by Einstürzende Neubauten
I recommend listening to:
"Die Wellen"
"Ich Hatte Ein Wort"
"Alles Wieder Offen"
"Ich Warte"
"Black Celebration" by Depeche Mode
I recommend listening to:
"Stripped"
"A Question Of Lust"
"Dressed In Black"
martedì 2 settembre 2008
Morning Thoughts
When we got to know each other it was almost 10 years ago. 10 years! I can clearly remember every single word you told me that night.
Once a month I would like to talk to you, I would like to give you a call and talk about the books you bought, the records you listened to, the stories you invented, the changes you made to your house. I am even concerned if your dogs are doing good. You know I always liked them so much.
But then I start thinking it´s maybe too much calling you and then I always start writing you a letter that I´ll never send. I´m too scared to break your balance, especially now it seems to me you found one and I definitely dont want to be the one that screw up everything.
It hasnt been easy between us, you arent an easy one, my dear, and so am I. We should have understood it right from the beginning, when I gave you a cd where somebody was singing that "you´re the truth, not I" and you gave me one where somebody was singing that "there is a light that never goes out".
You are the one with hope, I should have get it right from the beginning.
You loved me unconditionally but you also so much, that looking back now I dont know how I made it through everything. Probably because I know you didnt hurt me on purpose, it was just your way to protect me. You always had weird ways to protect people around you and you still have. After so many years you´re still protecting me and now it´s my turn to protect you.
I am guessing that it´s not easy for her to understand and accept certain things and she is probably feeling better when I am as far as I am right now. I totally understand that. She´s right. She is probably not the most beautiful girl in the world, but she definitely smart, nice and, more important, she loves you. I like her and I dont want to do her any harm.
If I would get in contact with you, instead of writing to you here, could do you harm, I know that, and I could do her harm too. So I get to the conclusion that I can just avoid writing/calling you, if this is better for so many people. Except for me, but I can ask my friends about you and knowing you´re doing good it´s more than enough for me.
We both have something that will remind of each other as time goes by.
Once a month I would like to talk to you, I would like to give you a call and talk about the books you bought, the records you listened to, the stories you invented, the changes you made to your house. I am even concerned if your dogs are doing good. You know I always liked them so much.
But then I start thinking it´s maybe too much calling you and then I always start writing you a letter that I´ll never send. I´m too scared to break your balance, especially now it seems to me you found one and I definitely dont want to be the one that screw up everything.
It hasnt been easy between us, you arent an easy one, my dear, and so am I. We should have understood it right from the beginning, when I gave you a cd where somebody was singing that "you´re the truth, not I" and you gave me one where somebody was singing that "there is a light that never goes out".
You are the one with hope, I should have get it right from the beginning.
You loved me unconditionally but you also so much, that looking back now I dont know how I made it through everything. Probably because I know you didnt hurt me on purpose, it was just your way to protect me. You always had weird ways to protect people around you and you still have. After so many years you´re still protecting me and now it´s my turn to protect you.
I am guessing that it´s not easy for her to understand and accept certain things and she is probably feeling better when I am as far as I am right now. I totally understand that. She´s right. She is probably not the most beautiful girl in the world, but she definitely smart, nice and, more important, she loves you. I like her and I dont want to do her any harm.
If I would get in contact with you, instead of writing to you here, could do you harm, I know that, and I could do her harm too. So I get to the conclusion that I can just avoid writing/calling you, if this is better for so many people. Except for me, but I can ask my friends about you and knowing you´re doing good it´s more than enough for me.
We both have something that will remind of each other as time goes by.
domenica 31 agosto 2008
sabato 30 agosto 2008
This is where I go where I want to relax.
Yesterday after work I came here. I love to be here. Everything is silent, quiet.As soon as I enter the building I feel released, relieved.
It's my cure lately.
venerdì 29 agosto 2008
It´s finally Friday.
Days are running so fast. And it´s finally Friday, lucky me. I am so tired. Yesterday I went to bed at 10.15 and this morning when I woke up I was still sooooooo tired. Unbelievable.
Today is a pretty calm day in the office. It´s Anne, my assistant, last day and I am kind of sad she´s leaving. Upstairs seems calm and in any case I am trying to avoid to go there. Bad vibes.
I have to do a lot of stuff as soon as I am in feierabend, but I´ll think about that later.
I have booked my flight to Italy yesterday. I´ll fly for the 27th of September and I´ll stay in Italy for about 8 days. Hopefully I will be able to relax, after my exams.
I have friends over during the weekend. I am happy, I havent spend some time with her for such a long time and maybe we´ll fix something that broke many years ago.
I want to bring them here
On Saturday night there will be also Der Lange Nacht der Museen
There will be some concerts and I think it will be cool to see Museums in the night time, especially if the weather is nice and if I´m around the Museen Inseln. It is always so beatiful there, even when it´s raining....
Today is a pretty calm day in the office. It´s Anne, my assistant, last day and I am kind of sad she´s leaving. Upstairs seems calm and in any case I am trying to avoid to go there. Bad vibes.
I have to do a lot of stuff as soon as I am in feierabend, but I´ll think about that later.
I have booked my flight to Italy yesterday. I´ll fly for the 27th of September and I´ll stay in Italy for about 8 days. Hopefully I will be able to relax, after my exams.
I have friends over during the weekend. I am happy, I havent spend some time with her for such a long time and maybe we´ll fix something that broke many years ago.
I want to bring them here
On Saturday night there will be also Der Lange Nacht der Museen
There will be some concerts and I think it will be cool to see Museums in the night time, especially if the weather is nice and if I´m around the Museen Inseln. It is always so beatiful there, even when it´s raining....
mercoledì 27 agosto 2008
The Tomatina in Bunol, Spain
This is not blood, dont worry. It is a traditional battle that happen every year, in the last Wednesday of August in Bunol. Spain. This year 40.000 people attended the battle and they used around 110 tons of tomatoes in a few hours.
Now: I do know that this can sound expected, but dont they have a better way to use 110 tons of tomatoes? I dont want to say they can give them away for charity, but cant they make hundreds of liters of Gazpacho and then give it away for free to everybody?
Apart from the waste of the vegetable, can you imagine the damage that a town can suffer from such a fight? Everywhere will be dirty and red and who is going to pay for all that mess?
Ok, ok, this is not that different from the Oranges battle Italians are fighting during Carnival in Ivrea, but why for? Can people think about a smarter way to have fun than wasting food?
Comments?
Wednesday
My sister yesterday finally came back from New Zealand. She landed in Rome early in the morning and the first thing I did when I woke up was checking if her flight arrived. She called me in the very moment I reached th office, she seemed fine, maybe tired, but nothing easier after such a long trip.
We shortly talked, she said she was about to call me back in the afternoon, but she didnt. She is´s not online now and I doubt she is already working. She has also lost her mobile phone sim card, so I have no choice to talk to her.
Yesterday I went to pick up my bike from being repaired, but it wasnt ready yet. I should go tonight after work again and then I´ll see how is my beloved bike looking. Nothing much I can do right now to change things.
I cannot stand anymore the atmosphere at work. Everybody is so unpolite, so rude, so upset. I can´t stand people arriving in the office at 10 already with a grin on their faces, already so aggressive. I mean, if you are like that at 10 o´clock in the morning, how will you be at 10 in the evening?
Everybody is constantly complaining about something and this is just making the job of everybody more and more difficult.
I am tired. I am extremely tired. I am always up to something, I have no time for myself. Indeed: what I need it´s some time for myself.
And this seems really the most difficult thing to get right now. Some time for myself and some days off.
We shortly talked, she said she was about to call me back in the afternoon, but she didnt. She is´s not online now and I doubt she is already working. She has also lost her mobile phone sim card, so I have no choice to talk to her.
Yesterday I went to pick up my bike from being repaired, but it wasnt ready yet. I should go tonight after work again and then I´ll see how is my beloved bike looking. Nothing much I can do right now to change things.
I cannot stand anymore the atmosphere at work. Everybody is so unpolite, so rude, so upset. I can´t stand people arriving in the office at 10 already with a grin on their faces, already so aggressive. I mean, if you are like that at 10 o´clock in the morning, how will you be at 10 in the evening?
Everybody is constantly complaining about something and this is just making the job of everybody more and more difficult.
I am tired. I am extremely tired. I am always up to something, I have no time for myself. Indeed: what I need it´s some time for myself.
And this seems really the most difficult thing to get right now. Some time for myself and some days off.
lunedì 25 agosto 2008
Sunday Bloody Sunday
I woke up yesterday morning, looked out from the window and I saw my bike completely burnt.
I mean, not completely, but I have to change a wheel, the saddle, the mudguard, not to talk about re install the lights and see if everything could work properly again. Some idiots burnt a big bin for recycling papers just in front of my bike. Not much remained of the bin and it was really a big one. Everything was still stinking of smoke so much where I went checking how bad the damages were.
Bad. They´re bad.
I went to the Police and I denunced the fact. They already had the name of my bike and its damages. Not much they can do about that, but in case they will be able to catch who start the fire, I can be refound. I dont think this will ever happen, but who knows.
I went home. I wanted to speak with my father about what had just happened, so I called my parents place. I shouldnt have do that, I should have called my father mobile.
My mother answered, I told her the fact and she had a dry reaction. Fine, not a big news she has dry reactions. But then she told me she´s worried about me living here in Berlin, about my unsettled life. Who said I want to settle? She said that if I want to have a settled life, a flat, a family, I have to go back to Italy. She told me that she understand that I am trying to live my life my way but she said she is not accepting it.
She meant that I have to go back to Italy, going working with my father. Then they will buy me a flat and then I will be the saddest person ever. I dont care about the flat, you cant buy happiness with a fucking flat. I dont care about going back to Italy, what do I still have there? Nothing.
I cant understand my mother being so worried. Living in Italy is much more difficult than living here.
What she told me yesterday have been the worst psychological violence I have ever had. It has been a bad emotional blackmail and this is definitely not what I need right now. Does she think that she can buy my life so easily? No, it wont be that easy. I have spent 25 years of my life trying to make her happier and as soon as I have started to make myself happy everything changed and nothing was ok anymore.
This time I wont give up.
Later in the day I went to see "The Dark Knight". The movie was extremely well done. The special effects were great but Gotham City looked more like New York than the Gotham City I have in my imaginary. The Joker was even more evil than I would have expected and Batman seemed to me a superhero with a fragile soul. Gary Oldman was sexy even in the part of the moustached liutenant. It was an ok movie, I thought the plot could have been much, much better. I read so many articles about this movie and so many reviews that I thought it was probably one of the best action movie of the last ten years. I have liked it, but less than I would have thought.
Went to bed late, as usual, thinking about my sister finally coming back from New Zealand.
When I was falling asleep I thought that in the moment you understand that the ones who should love you no matter what you do turn their back, then you are really all alone.
I mean, not completely, but I have to change a wheel, the saddle, the mudguard, not to talk about re install the lights and see if everything could work properly again. Some idiots burnt a big bin for recycling papers just in front of my bike. Not much remained of the bin and it was really a big one. Everything was still stinking of smoke so much where I went checking how bad the damages were.
Bad. They´re bad.
I went to the Police and I denunced the fact. They already had the name of my bike and its damages. Not much they can do about that, but in case they will be able to catch who start the fire, I can be refound. I dont think this will ever happen, but who knows.
I went home. I wanted to speak with my father about what had just happened, so I called my parents place. I shouldnt have do that, I should have called my father mobile.
My mother answered, I told her the fact and she had a dry reaction. Fine, not a big news she has dry reactions. But then she told me she´s worried about me living here in Berlin, about my unsettled life. Who said I want to settle? She said that if I want to have a settled life, a flat, a family, I have to go back to Italy. She told me that she understand that I am trying to live my life my way but she said she is not accepting it.
She meant that I have to go back to Italy, going working with my father. Then they will buy me a flat and then I will be the saddest person ever. I dont care about the flat, you cant buy happiness with a fucking flat. I dont care about going back to Italy, what do I still have there? Nothing.
I cant understand my mother being so worried. Living in Italy is much more difficult than living here.
What she told me yesterday have been the worst psychological violence I have ever had. It has been a bad emotional blackmail and this is definitely not what I need right now. Does she think that she can buy my life so easily? No, it wont be that easy. I have spent 25 years of my life trying to make her happier and as soon as I have started to make myself happy everything changed and nothing was ok anymore.
This time I wont give up.
Later in the day I went to see "The Dark Knight". The movie was extremely well done. The special effects were great but Gotham City looked more like New York than the Gotham City I have in my imaginary. The Joker was even more evil than I would have expected and Batman seemed to me a superhero with a fragile soul. Gary Oldman was sexy even in the part of the moustached liutenant. It was an ok movie, I thought the plot could have been much, much better. I read so many articles about this movie and so many reviews that I thought it was probably one of the best action movie of the last ten years. I have liked it, but less than I would have thought.
Went to bed late, as usual, thinking about my sister finally coming back from New Zealand.
When I was falling asleep I thought that in the moment you understand that the ones who should love you no matter what you do turn their back, then you are really all alone.
sabato 23 agosto 2008
Weekend
I went out with my friends yesterday, same restaurant, same bar afterwards, same great fun!
Today I went to the hairdresser, but you can barely notice. I have asked him for something rock'n'roll, but probably he didnt get it, as the haircut I have now is far from being rock'n'roll. But I like it and he didnt cut much which is the best.
Tonight I am going out again, but I want to go home pretty early as I am tired. I should do so many things, but I am too tired to do everything.
I just want my guitar here with me. I know I could definitely sleep much, much better.
Today I went to the hairdresser, but you can barely notice. I have asked him for something rock'n'roll, but probably he didnt get it, as the haircut I have now is far from being rock'n'roll. But I like it and he didnt cut much which is the best.
Tonight I am going out again, but I want to go home pretty early as I am tired. I should do so many things, but I am too tired to do everything.
I just want my guitar here with me. I know I could definitely sleep much, much better.
giovedì 21 agosto 2008
Being busy in doing nothing!
I have complained some days ago about how busy I was.
I have actually done nothing of the list of the things I had to do. And today´s Thursday.
I´ll end up doing nothing of the things I had to do and I did nothing this past week.
And I´m tired anyway....
I have actually done nothing of the list of the things I had to do. And today´s Thursday.
I´ll end up doing nothing of the things I had to do and I did nothing this past week.
And I´m tired anyway....
mercoledì 20 agosto 2008
Getting married
One of my best friends got married last year. It was a beautiful wedding, she looked gorgeous and so happy. I manage not to cry too much. In fact I almost didnt cry, as I was probably busier getting drunk. To be honest I arrived at the wedding already drunk, this is probably why I didnt cry. But I was the bridesmaid and I had plenty of reason to get drunk.
Her sister, which I equally love, got married two months later. I kind of got upset, as she didnt tell me anything and as I wasnt one of her eight bridesmaids, but she got married in Senegal and it could have been difficult for me to reach her there. When she told me, I cried a lot.
Two of my former classmates got married two years ago. One already has a baby, the other one I dont know.
Another friend of mine will get married next month.
One of my Norwegian classmates got married last Saturday.
One of my collegue will get married soon too.
Everybody is getting married. Is there something in the air that makes people that crazy?
Everybody is getting married and, it seems a consequence, getting fat too. My friends in Norway took all about 10 kilo in almost 10 years. I have no intention of getting marrier and I lost something like 17 kg in those 10 years.
I know that is girlish, I know.....
But I want to be the one to walk in the sun and girls just wanna have fun. Or at least I want to have fun and I dont want neither to compromise nor to give up that young.
Peace.
Her sister, which I equally love, got married two months later. I kind of got upset, as she didnt tell me anything and as I wasnt one of her eight bridesmaids, but she got married in Senegal and it could have been difficult for me to reach her there. When she told me, I cried a lot.
Two of my former classmates got married two years ago. One already has a baby, the other one I dont know.
Another friend of mine will get married next month.
One of my Norwegian classmates got married last Saturday.
One of my collegue will get married soon too.
Everybody is getting married. Is there something in the air that makes people that crazy?
Everybody is getting married and, it seems a consequence, getting fat too. My friends in Norway took all about 10 kilo in almost 10 years. I have no intention of getting marrier and I lost something like 17 kg in those 10 years.
I know that is girlish, I know.....
But I want to be the one to walk in the sun and girls just wanna have fun. Or at least I want to have fun and I dont want neither to compromise nor to give up that young.
Peace.
martedì 19 agosto 2008
Grinderman
Bought no books, no diary (I have just remembered that I had one at home), but a great Cd.
Grinderman. I'm listening to it right now. Great noise, great guitars, great voice, great boots my dear Nick, as usual.
All that I need right now.
Plans
Feierabend.
Putting my headphones on, my loved Einstürzende Neubauten as loud as possible, taking my bike, going to my favourite place on earth, the Bookshop and shopping, shopping, shopping.
I´ll buy a diary, so I will have no excuse. I must write then. Here, on a real diary, everywhere.
I´ll cure myself somehow. I want to get back to my life.
"you can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets...or you can come to terms and realize you are the only one who cannot forgive yourself...but it makes much more sense to live in the present tense."
Thanks eV. You´re still the one.
Putting my headphones on, my loved Einstürzende Neubauten as loud as possible, taking my bike, going to my favourite place on earth, the Bookshop and shopping, shopping, shopping.
I´ll buy a diary, so I will have no excuse. I must write then. Here, on a real diary, everywhere.
I´ll cure myself somehow. I want to get back to my life.
"you can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets...or you can come to terms and realize you are the only one who cannot forgive yourself...but it makes much more sense to live in the present tense."
Thanks eV. You´re still the one.
19.08.2008
Today should be one of my good days according to my Horoscop. It is also saying that I should try to be creative and inspired and that I should try to shut up regarding some question that I dont like that much. Well, thanks a lot for the usefull information, I do know that I always have to shut up as when I am saying what I am actually thinking I just make problems....
It has been an hard night again. Couldnt sleep, I was freezing, bad dreams and so on. I am wondering when all this will come to an end. I cant stand anymore waking up and being already tired, as I havent been able to sleep properly. I am thinking if I cant sleep, how will I ever dream again?
At least I have a pretty busy week:
Wasnt life supposed to be more than that?
It has been an hard night again. Couldnt sleep, I was freezing, bad dreams and so on. I am wondering when all this will come to an end. I cant stand anymore waking up and being already tired, as I havent been able to sleep properly. I am thinking if I cant sleep, how will I ever dream again?
At least I have a pretty busy week:
- I still have to decide when I will go to Italy to solve my University paperwork and this will definitely take a while. Planning such a short trip is always a useless stress. Going there for such a short period is always a useless stress. Going there is always a useless stress.
- Some time ago I have lost the certificate that states that I am living in Berlin. I really didnt care that much, as I didnt actually need it. But two weeks ago I went to the beautiful library in Potsdamer Str and they told me that to bring the books home they need this certificate. So I probably have to wake up extremely early tomorrow morning and going to the related office and make a duplicate of the certificate. With no books I cant begin writing my thesis properly.
- My shoes are all broken. I dont know how I can manage to break all my shoes. I need to throw away all my sneakers, they all have such big holes that I am kind of ashamed to wear them. My boots are beginning to melt on the top, my cowboy boots are all broken inside and to take them off is nearly impossible, my new shoes already broke, but I´ll try to bring them back and see what the girl in the shop says.
- Need to go to the Public Library, which is actually one of the best thing I have to do this week as I love going to the Library. I feel safe and calm.
- Need to go buying some books for my thesis and this sucks, as buying booky means spending money and if normally I dont care that much, lately I am kind of more carefull...
- Need to go to my German class and find also another German school, as the one I am currently going is too expensive and I wont afford another intensive course there, unfortunately. So, if anybody knows a cheap and good Language School in Berlin, please let me know.
Wasnt life supposed to be more than that?
lunedì 18 agosto 2008
Where Am I ?
Everything I do, I do it because I am incredibly scared to be mediocre.
Everything I do, should be as I am want it to be. I am extremely intransigent with myself and if I am not achieveing what I want to, I simply go crazy and I spend the most of the times blaming myself as I couldnt reach what I wanted to reach. This is the reason why I face any challenge. I need to prove to myself that I am stronger than myself.
Some years ago, the very day I have left my hometown to go on holiday, I got chicken pox. I fought against my body. Against fever, against my weakness, against myself. I went from Bologna to Bergen (Norway) , by train, in two days. Alone. No books. No mp3 player. No diary. No pen. Nothing. Just me, myself and I. I needed to think and I needed to talk with myself and try to compromise with myself.
if my conscience would stop screaming more than my paranoia I would screw up everything and leave behind everything that I have achieved until now. But I simply cant.
Everything I do, should be as I am want it to be. I am extremely intransigent with myself and if I am not achieveing what I want to, I simply go crazy and I spend the most of the times blaming myself as I couldnt reach what I wanted to reach. This is the reason why I face any challenge. I need to prove to myself that I am stronger than myself.
Some years ago, the very day I have left my hometown to go on holiday, I got chicken pox. I fought against my body. Against fever, against my weakness, against myself. I went from Bologna to Bergen (Norway) , by train, in two days. Alone. No books. No mp3 player. No diary. No pen. Nothing. Just me, myself and I. I needed to think and I needed to talk with myself and try to compromise with myself.
I am always fighting with myself. Not with other people, just with myself.
I left for Norway alone as I needed to clarify more than a couple of things with myself. I did indeed clarify them, but now I know that I should stop thinking about a certain man, somebody who looked like an angel and acted the same way. He was an angel, I am sure of that. But this person doesnt exist anymore. Or better, he does exist, but in a life that is not my life anymore. And, in addition, he left me alone. He left me alone and I just got his grave to cry on now. A grave that I dont want to visit, as I have already cried enough.
I learnt that I can reach whatvere I want after that trip, but that was something I already knew.
My past is, as per definition, past and I should stop thinking about certain episodes of my life. But the harder i try, the harder seems to be.
if my conscience would stop screaming more than my paranoia I would screw up everything and leave behind everything that I have achieved until now. But I simply cant.
This is not myself.
Not the person who's writing.
Pakistan is denouncing violence on Women
If you are easily offedended you shouldnt click here below:
http://www.repubblica.it/2006/05/gallerie/esteri/donne-sfregiate/1.html
http://www.repubblica.it/2006/05/gallerie/esteri/donne-sfregiate/1.html
domenica 17 agosto 2008
Un'altra notte terribile
Ho passato un'altra notte terribile. Un'altra di una ormai lunga serie. Non riesco a dormire. Quando mi addormento il sonno è più un dormiveglia. Mi sveglio di continuo, di soprassalto ma, soprattutto, mi sveglio che sto male.
Stanotte mi è passata davanti agli occhi, mentre ero in dormiveglia, tutta la storia con Marco. Mi è passata davanti come se qualcuno stesse mandando avanti velocemente un dvd e ho rivisto in pochissimi attimi tutto. Dal concerto dei Mudhoney all'ultima volta che sono andata via da casa sua, assolutamente conscia che sarebbe stata l'ultima, ma forte. Non ho pianto, quella volta. Sono semplicemente tornata, dove?, non ricordo nemmeno. Ma non ho pianto.
Alle 7 ero sveglia, già con gli occhi spalancati e di pessimo umore. Adesso vorrei piangere.
I miei occhi sono ancora spalancati e il mio umore continua ad essere pessimo.
Nothing change, as usual, ma se continua a non cambiare diventerà un problema.
Stanotte mi è passata davanti agli occhi, mentre ero in dormiveglia, tutta la storia con Marco. Mi è passata davanti come se qualcuno stesse mandando avanti velocemente un dvd e ho rivisto in pochissimi attimi tutto. Dal concerto dei Mudhoney all'ultima volta che sono andata via da casa sua, assolutamente conscia che sarebbe stata l'ultima, ma forte. Non ho pianto, quella volta. Sono semplicemente tornata, dove?, non ricordo nemmeno. Ma non ho pianto.
Alle 7 ero sveglia, già con gli occhi spalancati e di pessimo umore. Adesso vorrei piangere.
I miei occhi sono ancora spalancati e il mio umore continua ad essere pessimo.
Nothing change, as usual, ma se continua a non cambiare diventerà un problema.
Teo
Where are you? I need you. Why can't I talk with you whenever I want? Why can't you come to my place, pick my up and then driving me up to your beloved hills, where you show me everything you have pictured in your mind, showing me all your dreams and thoughts and memories?
It hurts sometimes know that I can't have you on my side whenever I want. I know it's selfish, but I also know that you don't care, as you have always loved me for what am. This is also the reason why we love each other so much, because we don't ask each other anything than spend together a couple of hours per year.
This is more than enough for us, my friend. And I really know that, when you'll read this words, you'll smile and think about me and this is something that already makes me happier.
I always love you as I always did.
P.S.: I have just remember that night when we were at your place, then we went out and I have lost you, myself and my glasses. Do you still remember?
It hurts sometimes know that I can't have you on my side whenever I want. I know it's selfish, but I also know that you don't care, as you have always loved me for what am. This is also the reason why we love each other so much, because we don't ask each other anything than spend together a couple of hours per year.
This is more than enough for us, my friend. And I really know that, when you'll read this words, you'll smile and think about me and this is something that already makes me happier.
I always love you as I always did.
P.S.: I have just remember that night when we were at your place, then we went out and I have lost you, myself and my glasses. Do you still remember?
Back to the good, old times
Si può vincere una guerra in due, e forse anche da solo, si può estrarre il cuore anche al più nero assissino, ma è più difficile cambiare un'idea. Il mio sogno è un taglio netto a tutto e voglio che sia più reale potrei stare ore ed ore a parlare al silenzio, ma è più difficile cambiare un'idea.
Indecisione e bisogni.
Impellente bisogno di scrivere. Mi ritrovo sempre in bilico tra il non saper decidere se voler scrivere su carta o sul blog. Sono sempre nel baratro dell'indecisione.
Ma ho davvero bisogno di scrivere, visto che non riesco a parlare.
Ma ho davvero bisogno di scrivere, visto che non riesco a parlare.
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