Sunday Bloody Sunday

I woke up yesterday morning, looked out from the window and I saw my bike completely burnt.
I mean, not completely, but I have to change a wheel, the saddle, the mudguard, not to talk about re install the lights and see if everything could work properly again. Some idiots burnt a big bin for recycling papers just in front of my bike. Not much remained of the bin and it was really a big one. Everything was still stinking of smoke so much where I went checking how bad the damages were.
Bad. They´re bad.
I went to the Police and I denunced the fact. They already had the name of my bike and its damages. Not much they can do about that, but in case they will be able to catch who start the fire, I can be refound. I dont think this will ever happen, but who knows.

I went home. I wanted to speak with my father about what had just happened, so I called my parents place. I shouldnt have do that, I should have called my father mobile.
My mother answered, I told her the fact and she had a dry reaction. Fine, not a big news she has dry reactions. But then she told me she´s worried about me living here in Berlin, about my unsettled life. Who said I want to settle? She said that if I want to have a settled life, a flat, a family, I have to go back to Italy. She told me that she understand that I am trying to live my life my way but she said she is not accepting it.
She meant that I have to go back to Italy, going working with my father. Then they will buy me a flat and then I will be the saddest person ever. I dont care about the flat, you cant buy happiness with a fucking flat. I dont care about going back to Italy, what do I still have there? Nothing.
I cant understand my mother being so worried. Living in Italy is much more difficult than living here.
What she told me yesterday have been the worst psychological violence I have ever had. It has been a bad emotional blackmail and this is definitely not what I need right now. Does she think that she can buy my life so easily? No, it wont be that easy. I have spent 25 years of my life trying to make her happier and as soon as I have started to make myself happy everything changed and nothing was ok anymore.
This time I wont give up.

Later in the day I went to see "The Dark Knight". The movie was extremely well done. The special effects were great but Gotham City looked more like New York than the Gotham City I have in my imaginary. The Joker was even more evil than I would have expected and Batman seemed to me a superhero with a fragile soul. Gary Oldman was sexy even in the part of the moustached liutenant. It was an ok movie, I thought the plot could have been much, much better. I read so many articles about this movie and so many reviews that I thought it was probably one of the best action movie of the last ten years. I have liked it, but less than I would have thought.

Went to bed late, as usual, thinking about my sister finally coming back from New Zealand.
When I was falling asleep I thought that in the moment you understand that the ones who should love you no matter what you do turn their back, then you are really all alone.