Today I didnt go to work. I simply didnt feel like. As if anybody cared. I stayed in bed till late, took a bath, a friend came over for breakfast. We ended up siting on the sofa buying furs on Ebay.
I have been riding my bike most of the afternoon. I needed to do something that looked kind of sporty a good friend of mine told me and this is the only thing I am really enjoying.
I mean, I told him that I needed to ride my horse, but I think it is kind of difficult to find a place where I can ride a horse here in Berlin. At least so fast. Not to talk about that i dont have my equipment.
To male the story short I ride my bike, tried to think as little as I could. This didnt work that much but at least I did something for myself.
I went food shopping at the Turkish market near to my flat. I dont have many occasions to go there and I like to go there. People are constantly screaming in a language that dont understand and it's funny. I ended up buying food that will probably rotten in my fridge, as usual. I bought peppermint, sure that as soon as I was home I could have made me a peppermint tea, but of course I didnt.
I have smoked I dont even know how many cigarettes and I am feeling kind of disgusted at the moment.
Now I am going to take a bath, candle lights, the book I am reading now ("The Turning", by Tim Winton,one of the main charachters has the same nickname that my sister gave to me. The book is basically talking about how people can look at their past in their present and reconsider everything they did while looking back). Nothing more. Dont want to think, dont want to think, dont want to think. I simply dont want to think.
At all.
I have ended up listening to Mother Love Bone. It has been ages I didnt. And now I remember why. That band could easily open all my darkest emotion. And this is something I definitely dont need right now.
I simply dont want to think.
At all.